Unimportant things that make me happy

So I was tagged by Emily to list 6 unimportant things that make me happy. This is really hard because I think so many things that make me happy ARE important.

1. Getting my hair cut & colored

2. Back rubs from my hubby

3. Smell of rain

4. Wine. Lots.O.Wine.

5. Burning muscles

6. Fresh cut flowers in my house

Tag! You're It!

Mom
Katie
Jennifer
Lisa

Only a Nursing New Mother Would Understand...

Who wants to guess what's so hysterical with this picture and why?


Just when I thought I was getting it together, I go walking around the office like this for 3 hours and no one said a word.

A Big Apology

I recently read this article in Parents Magazine and had to share. How very, very true. Of course, I had a C-section so I'll apologize to my layers of muscle and fat instead of to my who-ha.

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Since I had my first child three months ago I've dealt with an endless string of sleepless nights, the relentless cycle of feeding and pumping and changing and comforting, and the slow realization that my life will never be the same again. Now that I've emerged from the fog of being a new mommy, I have a few things I need to say.

I want to start by apologizing to my vagina. I just... I just didn't know what was going to happen. I thought it would be easy. All my life I'd been told I have "child-birthing hips." That turned out to be a dirty lie. I pushed for three hours, and I put you, dear vagina, through hell. I did my best to protect you, and I apologize. I can only hope that the bad feelings between us can be healed. This relationship has gotten really painful, and it's been weeks now. Please let the healing begin.
I'd also like to say I'm sorry to my husband for all my inappropriate name-calling in the delivery room and the resentment I felt because I had to carry our child for nine months and you didn't.I will have sex with you again someday, don't hold your breath or anything, but we'll get there. I'll wear attractive lingerie again as well. These grandma underpants aren't forever!

And honey... about my boobs. While I appreciate your attempts to touch them, try to understand that they are not for you at this time. These are working breasts, they are under construction at the moment, and we appreciate your patience. It's funny: I can see a mixture of fear and delight in your eyes at the size of them. And trust me, they are something to fear. I never thought a boob could dwarf the size of my baby's head, but it is true. Little Emma's bravery in attacking them day after day is impressive. I must apologize to her as well. I had no idea they would operate in a sprinkler fashion, and I have sprayed her in the face many, many times. But the way she fights through it is quite something.

I apologize to every woman whose baby shower I attended before I became a mom. All those useless stuffed animals and baby booties I bought... well, I'm sure they might have come in handy at some point, but I should have stuck to the registry and gotten things you truly needed.

I apologize once again to my husband, this time for criticizing you about the way you dress our daughter. I know she's my very own personal doll come to life, and I like to play dress-up. But you make such weird choices. Why would you put her in a sweater when it is 85 degrees outside? It's the middle of the day-a night-gown really? It's bedtime, sweetheart, why is she wearing a hat? I recognize this is not America's Next Top Model, but I do ask you to think about what makes sense sometimes. That's all.

I must apologize to every new mom ever bumped into before I had a baby for judging your appearance. I mentally criticized your old sweatpants, your over sized T-shirts, and your haphazard ponytails. I figured you just hadn't taken the time to get ready before you went out or were in dire need of a makeover. Now I understand those precious minutes you savor when the baby goes down for a nap- the desperation to make the most of them. I could shower! I could eat! I could sleep! Check my e-mail! Work-out! Do laundry! Have sex! (Well, maybe not just yet, but...) I could do so much if she would just sleep a little longer. Then, inevitably, there's that sound through the baby monitor. (Stop.Wait.Listen.) Was it for real?... That was just a sneeze, right? ... She's not up,right?... Oh, please, I'm almost done eating, the coffee's finally ready, I thought I could shower. Just five more minutes please. Just... nope. She's up. She's hungry. She's wet. She's something. And once you've got her fed and changed and played with her, you're on the clock to get that errand done before it all unravels again. I get it now: There is absolutely no time for a blowout or blusher, I was a complete jerk, and I am sorry.

I see how people look at me- with that mixture of pity and disgust- in my old nursing tank covered in spit-up and the same maternity shorts I wear every day. I'm like the Elephant Man. I put my daughter in fancy clothes to compensate for the monster pushing her around. I see the stares. I know what you're saying. Well to heck with you, you small-pants wearing Miley Cyrus fan. I just had a baby. I am not always this fat!

I guess I should apologize for my anger but in solidarity with new moms everywhere, I'm not going to. But I would definitely like to apologize to my former self, I always thought I had a few pounds to lose and could look better. I never knew how great I had it. What I wouldn't give to fit into my old clothes again! I look at them longingly day after day. Hi, jeans. Hello, Diane von Furstenberg (whoever this is) wrap dress. You were all so good to me. (sniff)

I should have slowed down and enjoyed my freedom more when I had the chance. I used to beat myself up if I slept past eight or stayed out too late. I was a fool. A fool. What did I know? Oh, to do anything at all at a leisurely pace- shop, eat, read a newspaper- and anything without having to wear a monitor. Waiting. Listening. For her.

While I'm sending regrets I should apologize to my pre-baby boobs for not appreciating them enough. They were a great pair of boobs- not to big, just enough decolletage. And now... sigh... who knows what will be left of them once I stop nursing? I'm sorry, former boobs. I truly am.
I'll never be sorry about deciding to become a mother, though. There may be no going back to my old body or my old lifestyle, but having her is worth everything I've had to give up and then some. But you already know that. :)

What does $1 Trillion Look Like?

One TRILLION dollars... What does that look like? We'll start with a $100 dollar bill. Currently the largest U.S. Denomination in general circulation. Most everyone has seen them, slightly fewer have owned them. Guaranteed to make friends wherever they go. A packet of one hundred $100 bills is less than 1/2" thick and contains $10,000. Fits in your pocket easily and is more than enough for week or two of shamefully decadent fun. Believe it or not, this next little pile is $1 million dollars (100 packets of $10,000). You could stuff that into a grocery bag and walk around with it. While a measly $1 million looked a little unimpressive, $100 million is a little more respectable. It fits neatly on a standard pallet.. And $1 BILLION dollars... Now we're really getting somewhere. Next we'll look at ONE TRILLION dollars. This is that number we've been hearing about so much. What is a trillion dollars? Well, it's a million million. It's a thousand billion. It's a one followed by 12 zeros. You ready for this? It's pretty surprising. I give you $1 trillion dollars . And notice those pallets are double stacked. So, the next time you hear someone toss around the phrase "trillion dollars"... that's what they're talking about.

A Lengthy Jackson Clan Update

Well, it seems as though I've abandoned this blog. Shame on me - I know better than that! I've recently started a more professional blog (www.trisharjackson.com) to talk about some of the things I'm most passionate about in my work life. So with 3 blogs going at the same time, it's a little difficult to keep up.

Here's the 411 on what's been happening in our lives.

The Hubster
Craig's been doing a phenomenal job juggling family and work life. He has one of the toughest jobs in the world being a Work-At-Home Dad. Delaney is going to LOVE having her daddy to play with in the next few months and Craig may opt to stop working all together :). Work has been coming in fast and furious which is a double-edge sword. We're happy that money is coming in but it's hard to then juggle what we're to do with Delaney so that he can actually do the work. Drive-by appraisals are easy - toss her in the car and their off. Full inspections (which are the majority) are the toughy.

Craig's been able to get out to play frisbee golf which is something he loves to do. I'm so glad that I can get home at 3 to give him some free time - a phrase nearly eliminated from our vocabulary these days. Balance is the key.

Delaney
Delaney has been such a different baby since being on Prevacid for acid reflux. She's growing like a weed (14lbs now) and is starting to really babble. If you're not following her blog, check it out now for her newly learned trick: Rolling!

We are so blessed to have great parents. Between my mom and Craig's mom, Karen, we've been able to have family help out 2 days a week in caring for Delaney while Craig gets some work done. The lady across the street has been able to also take her for at least 1 day if not 1.5-2 days a week. Her rates are fairly cheap in my opinion. $8/hr drop in $50/day for PT and $170/wk or $680/mo for full time. Still a great deal compared to daycares in the area. She cares for a few other little ones so it does give Delaney some play time with children.

The neighbor girls simply adore her and ask if she's awake enough to come out and play with them. We get the blankets out in the front lawn and pretty soon, have a neighborhood full of little girls gooing over her. Delaney LOVES the interaction.

The pets
Smokey, Bandit and Blackjack are finally adjusted. Smokey isn't a ball of anxiety anymore and has finally calmed with the cessation of all D's crying. Bandit and D are going to be best friends. Already, D is grabbing his fur when he's near and Bandit purrs so very loudly when nuzzling up against her. Blackjack still doesn't know what to think so for the time being, he sniffs her in passing and that's about it.

Return to work
It's been tough, I won't lie. I'm a bit slow with actual hard-core work right now so I've been trying to play catch up on reports, financials, bills and the like. I'm not one to like that kind of week so I'm struggling to get crazy busy - the way I like to work. Soon enough as the technology project takes off again. I start my monthly travel schedule once again in June and will be gone to Atlanta for 4 days. 4.long.days. That will be a real test for both Craig and I. Although, I suspect that my mom and his mom will split time with Delaney so that he can get some reprieve.

Other family notes
Jennifer, Dean, Diana and Gill are moving back to Ohio in 3 weeks! We couldn't be more excited. I'm really glad to have them back and have cousins for Delaney to meet. I have a feeling we'll be seeing a lot of them over the summer.

My brother Dean is doing well in CA. I hear he's looking to make the move back into the field soon if his Commander would actually make a decision.

The Army cracks me up. You'd think the government would have their act together yet I'm always dissappointed when I hear about vacation requests sitting on desks for weeks at a time, unanswered phone calls, disorganized chaos for military events, etc etc. For a group that prides itself on being all neat and tidy, they have a lot to learn from themselves!

My cousin Nichole gets married in T-2 months. I'm really looking forward to seeing the family at her wedding. She's going to make a beautiful bride! D is going to LOVE the music and dancing.

Vacation is set for June 28th - July 5th in Orlando. I can't wait to take D swimming and just hang out while enjoying the company. I think it'll just be mom, dad, Craig, D and I together. Jennifer, Gil and the kids will have just moved back and Dean has decided to see about a girl in Germany (somethings never change).

What else do you want to know about? That's life at the Jackson's thus far. I'm getting the itch to start running again. Hopefully soon. D has had erratic naps and my evenings are spent running around getting her to sleep, doing laundry, getting supplies ready for the following day, etc. I hope that when she decides to STTN, I can have a rather predictable morning and start running then.

Sneak Peak of Delaney's Photo shoot.

Sneak peak of our photo shoot with Leah Puckett on my Facebook profile: http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/profile.php?id=739408618&ref=profile

Updated pics of DelaneyJ

Don't forget to bookmark Delaney's blog! New pictures have been uploaded: http://adventuresofdelaneyj.blogspot.com/

Moby Wrap Giveaway

Check out this fantastic blog to win a Moby Wrap of your own. I love ours and would like at least one if not two more to put into rotation. Between food, spitups and the normal daily dirt, I need at least one on hand at all times.

http://tinyurl.com/d3j26r

This is how we roll

Nap when baby naps, right? Yeah, right.

Thoughts on my 1st six weeks of maternity leave

I wish this thing called motherhood came with a no nonsense, in your face FAQ that explained that it may not all be roses for the first 6-8 weeks. While I didn't expect it to be easy, I also didn't expect the rollercoaster days, anxiety, depression, round the clock screaming, late night crying nor the inability to feel like I have any sense of what "normal" is anymore. Day by day it's getting a little easier and a little more predictable but I worry about starting another "routine" over again when I go back to work in 6 weeks.

I wake up not knowing if today will be a good day or not. Will I be able to get a shower? What about breakfast? Will I forget to feed my poor neglected Smokey again this morning (the cats NEVER let me forget)? What about the household chores? And most importantly, will I be able to stay ahead of Delaney by pumping enough to build my freezer stash for when I have to travel? I'm constantly overwhelmed and can't help to feel like I'll never get my act in gear for when I have to return to work. And here I thought I would be bored on maternity leave...

I recently got my updated travel schedule from a coworker. I'll try to take the latest flights out and the earliest flights back so that I'm able to nurse Delaney and keep my supply up. I'm worried about how Craig will do with overnight trips when I'm traveling out West and hope that he doesn't feel a overwhelmed as I do at times.

I do all I can to get outside every day. I look forward to getting the mail, taking a walk (when it's warm), going for a car ride. Delaney LOVES those things as well. She loves the wind in her face, the bounciness of my stride and the hum of the car. It's been miserable to go through our first chance at parenthood in the winter months in Ohio. Hopefully next time around, I'll be able to enjoy the nicer weather and save whatever is left of my sanity for DC #2.

So here's to the small wins each day. Today, I was able to nurse Delaney at 6:30, put her down for a nap at 7, vacuum, clean the kitchen, drink a cup of coffee AND pump. YAHOO! What I really need to do is clean the nursery and reorganize the mess that we make everyday in there. That's no small feat and I can only do it when she's awake or napping in the PNP.